Happy New Year

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Post by Guest on Thu Jan 03, 2019 3:06 am

Well, it’s been a year or so since I last posted. I really missed you guys. Sincerely, I did. With this heartfelt sentiment in mind, I would like to share some intimate details of my life with you; details that would surely elicit embarrassment should I post them on another forum, but not here on Firkham. I trust you guys. I know you will not judge. I’ve always felt secure here. With that in mind, here are the details:

1/ I’ve always been hesitant to use my soapy fingers to clean my butt-hole while bathing. It feels weird to me. Also, I don’t like to use a washcloth, since it gets smelly. What I do is I use a dedicated bar of soap on my dark area. I rinse it well after using so it’s ready for next time. I use another bar of soap for the rest of my bathing, this way the contaminated bar doesn’t come in contact with my face, arms, and so on. 

2/ My eyebrows get unruly at times, and if I don’t have the time to trim them, I simply use a lightly moistened toothbrush to brush them straight. Works great and feels neat. 

3/ As I get older, I don’t find as much humour in smelling my own farts as I used to. You know the old trick - let one rip under the bed covers and flap the sheets up and down with one of your forearms, sending clouds of spent flatulence to your nostrils. I discovered a way of smelling your own farts in a more refined way,  by accident. It gets hot and humid here in summer, and since we don’t have air conditioning, I use a small fan at the foot of the bed to blow air on me. One night I let one rip and the smell was upon me immediately. But just like that, it was gone. What a wonderful discovery! Now it’s become a habit and I find myself going out of my way to eat food that I know will cause minor gastrointestinal distress. 

4/ As mentioned in the last post, it gets hot and humid here in summer, and as a result, it makes drying oneself after a shower seem intermidable. To expedite drying I use a dehumidifier. A model with a top-firing exhaust works best. I like to straddle it and dry out the butt-hole and danglies. This way, nothing comes in contact with my sensitive areas. The dehumidifier also works like a champ to dry between the toes and those rough patches on the backs of your heels. The armpits are another area which gets attention. I have become so used to this that I miss it when I’m traveling. 

Well fellows, thanks for letting me share my habits with you. I hope you have enjoyed them and maybe they will inspire some of you to adopt them. You really can’t go wrong. Toodles!

Guest
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Post by Mike Oxbig on Thu Jan 03, 2019 4:10 am

Happy New Year  1914374567
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Post by Guest on Thu Jan 03, 2019 7:20 am

Happy New Year  3119148441

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Post by Guest on Thu Jan 03, 2019 7:31 am

cheers cheers cheers cheers  The Perv is back.

Happy New Year  1418953693 Happy New Year  1418953693 Happy New Year  1418953693 Happy New Year  2931381166 Happy New Year  2931381166 Happy New Year  1904186284 Happy New Year  1904186284 Happy New Year  59220012 Happy New Year  59220012 Happy New Year  482417856 Happy New Year  482417856 Happy New Year  1098768216 Happy New Year  1098768216 Happy New Year  1098768216

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Post by Guest on Thu Jan 03, 2019 7:31 am

Oh Yes     Happy New Year  1480655803  With that Jesus Shit!

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Post by Mike Oxbig on Thu Jan 03, 2019 7:36 am

Complete and utter fruitcake like that other Canadian tosser Wally

Perfect for this shit ole
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Post by Engeeeeee on Thu Jan 03, 2019 8:29 am

When I was younger I could suck my bell end if I got upside down against a wall and let my legs fall down onto the floor.
 Can't do it now though. If I could I would get a divorce.
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Post by Guest on Thu Jan 03, 2019 8:39 am

Happy New Year  1428013278     Happy New Year  1107517195  Sucking yer own knob.

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Post by StevieWorcester on Thu Jan 03, 2019 11:32 pm

Hello Nucky. Thanks for sharing those sentiments.

Happy New Year  3976363906

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Post by Guest on Fri Jan 04, 2019 12:51 am

You’re welcome.

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Post by Mike Oxbig on Fri Jan 04, 2019 10:39 am

Alright nucks 
We’re mortgage free now Fuck face and stinking rich coz of it
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Post by Guest on Fri Jan 04, 2019 11:46 am

Rolling Eyes
  




Happy New Year  1304438225

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Post by Chris P Bacon on Fri Jan 04, 2019 2:26 pm

Happy New Year  3046681651
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Post by Chris P Bacon on Mon Jan 07, 2019 5:07 pm

alright nucky

filthy rich i am now cock breath Happy New Year  482417856Happy New Year  1977987316
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Post by Guest on Mon Jan 07, 2019 5:11 pm

Me too. Always have been.

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Post by Chris P Bacon on Mon Jan 07, 2019 5:13 pm

Happy New Year  2203363073 Happy New Year  482417856
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Post by Engeeeeee on Mon Jan 07, 2019 8:16 pm

Yep...and me.
  Happy New Year  2079220002
 Was gonna spend 8k on a holiday to Japan but I ain't going to give the slant eyed cunts a penny now if they're whaling .
 Fuck em ,the little bastards.
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Post by Guest on Tue Jan 08, 2019 10:52 am

Nice to see you care Mr. Engine: The Phucker does not give a fuck about the environment, he just cares about money and looking better and showing off to his neighbours, and anyone else who bothers to read his drivel on the forums he is not banned from yet.

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Post by Mike Oxbig on Tue Jan 08, 2019 10:57 am

Twisted Evil
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Post by Guest on Tue Jan 08, 2019 10:57 am

The Japs are only starting whaling again for scientific reasons.

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Post by Mike Oxbig on Tue Jan 08, 2019 10:58 am

Bastards
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Post by Guest on Tue Jan 08, 2019 11:02 am

Rolling Eyes

Thought you did not give a fuck..     scratch scratch scratch

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Post by Engeeeeee on Tue Jan 08, 2019 11:17 am

No they aint.
 It's commercial whaling again.
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Post by Chris P Bacon on Wed Jan 09, 2019 2:43 pm

MORNING NUCKY Happy New Year  2811182196
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Post by Guest on Wed Jan 09, 2019 2:44 pm

Ditto

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