VALHALA RISING (2012,UK)

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VALHALA RISING (2012,UK)

Post by Wallace on Mon Jan 13, 2014 2:07 pm

Right off the bat I will inform you there is no skirt in this film. If your hoping to catch  sight of vertical Viking slit, there is not a single female in this film.
 
The film somewhat stymied Wallace cos I always thought that Vikings came first and Christ religion later. However I just checked it up and Vikings were from 700 to 1100, so it appears the film is accurate there.
 
This slow-moving, turgid film with drone-soundtrack stars that Danish Mads Wotsit actor who, some 30 years earlier played Le Chiffree in Casino Royal. Surprizingly enough he still looks much like he did 30 years ago, but then again, much of the time his face is covered in filth.
And, as in the James Bond film, Mads only has one functioning eye. Indeed he goes by the name One-Eye.
 
Now its never explained where ol' One-Eye comes from, even if he is a Viking. Anyways the Vikings dont accept him as theirs. (Indeed I dont know why they call this film Valhalla-anything, since the Vikings play a rather small part here.

Beginning of the film he is caged and forced to fight champions from another Viking tribe (for bets & reward). He escapes and joins a small band of men (not Vikings) led by a Christian fanatic who promises to take them to Jerusalem (The Crusades) for the glory of God (but they are in it for the plunder).
They get in a small boat but end up crossing the Atlantic and are (apparently) the first whitemen (NOT  Vikings) to make it to the New World. Only their stay is brief: they are quickly killed off via arrow-flight by  an unseen enemy.  One-Eye and a boy are last-standing. Perhaps the Indians admire his  warrior-abilities. Then One-Eye is clubbed to death. 
 
That is pretty well all there is.
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Re: VALHALA RISING (2012,UK)

Post by zako on Mon Jan 13, 2014 4:10 pm

                                          
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Re: VALHALA RISING (2012,UK)

Post by Wallace on Mon Jan 13, 2014 5:01 pm

Wots a-mattah?
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Re: VALHALA RISING (2012,UK)

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